Oh honey(s) I know what you’re going through. If it’s any consolation I have talked to a number of guys that turned out they were serious about LTR but it “had to” be with a pre op.
To each their own and I believe we should go out of our way to respect the desires of others if ours will hold any water. In other words, any sexual act or touching whatsoever should be accompanied (if it’s questionable) disclosure about genital status. It’s really only fair to other people.
Here’s how it goes when you’re post op. I’ve felt lower than low sometimes about my desirability.
Because gay guys run from women of any sort…
str8 guys or what have you would act like I was compromised pork leftovers in comparison with their holier than holiest of grails cis women that they’d fantasize about…
and the guys we know as “chasers” many of whom are LTR chasers…well a fully post op woman doesn’t have whet they’re looking for.
I think the key I’m finally seeing to unlock it all is this…
be genuinely happy and thankful for the fact that they’re evolved enough to appreciate our company..
encourage them and praise them, help them talk rightly to another girl even if their personal preferences don’t match our own transition goals.
Other than that, not overdoing the blush till we look like some nuclear war survivor Marianne from Gilligan’s
Another alternative…leave the high horse “straight” guys alone and focus on Bi. They’re less likely to try and hide or otherwise disrespecting us. Maybe they need help in dealing with being Bi. We are not the only ones that have suffered through emotional or physical trauma.
Finally one last thing many of us have the tendency to chase guys instead of letting them chase us. It seems stifling and overbearing, in truth “manly” to some guys, especially alpha ones. Help him make the right decision in devoting time to you, we’re not at all damaged goods so make him feel as lucky as he really is to have the opportunity to get to know us.